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ANOTHER
DRAGGY VENT
Asses Of Fire
Its amazing how far our society has
come. We have teeny mints that freshen our breath, girly sticks a
plenty for our times of need, shampoos that actually help curl or
straighten our hair. Sugar substitutes that are almost as good as the
real thing. Veggie hot dogs that yes, actually taste like normal hot
dogs ( and we all know why that is... because there’s just as much meat
in a normal hot dog as there is in a veggie hot dog ) And all types of
scented & textured toilet paper. So...someone explain this to me.
Why is there NO product that makes ones ass not hurt after they’ve
eaten quite a bit of spicy food? ( I’m sorry, its hard to word exactly
what I want ) If I want a heaping plate of nachos with jalapenos and
chili and onions and peppers...why does my ass have to suffer for it
later? Someone invent a product that will fix this issue so the Ops
don’t have to listen to my misery every time I eat Mexican food.
They'll be very grateful.
Um...Yeah...
Okay, this ones bothered me for a few
days now. And no, its not directed at anyone in particular, so please,
don’t get your granny panties all wedgied. I’m very glad that we have
the option to edit our forum posts. We all know that I can not type to
save my butt, and usually someone in chat will poke me on the shoulder
after I’ve made an auction or a big ole rant like this one and say
"Uh...Draggy, you need to fix a couple of spelling errors...that are
making not nice words because they're misspelled." Its great for
editing art posts, sales posts, etc. What makes me mad is when people
edit their auction posts so that even tho they posted before you with a
lower bid, they go back, change their bid so that they outbid you. And
most of the time you don’t even notice, you see that there’s still the
same number of posts on the thread, and that you still have the last
post, so you think YAHOO I’m winning. And then...you dint. All because
some fink thought they would be shady and edit their post, and try and
put one over on you. I’ve seen it happen last minute as well in
auctions, or after someone BIN's something...off they go to change a
previous post, and then they whine..."UH...I BIN'd that item before
this person did...SEE!?!?!?!" So, here's a little piece of advice from
me to you. KNOCK THAT CRAP OFF. Its dishonest. Its unfair. Its rude. It
pisses me off. Thanks
And Down They Go...
I've been a Breyer collector for most of
my life. I know that several of you also collect, or collected at one
point in your life. And some of you, like myself, are quite heavily
into the hobby, and regularly attend model horse shows. We love the
smell of the plastic as we walk into the slightly too chilled show
room, we drool over the smutty dapple palomino Bainbridge Warmblood
that’s on the raffle table. Our eyes widen at the rows and tables of
amazing horsies as far as the eye can see. Its Heaven for some of us.
We see old friends that we haven’t talked to in months, and we pick up
right where we left off. We laugh, eat chili cheese fries, complain
about FAS mold flaws, give dirty looks to the woman that beat us in the
last show...until the same woman sees the new powerhouse resin that is
slowly pulled from the show crates like King Arthur unsheathing
Excalibur. We marvel over SM sized tack, complain about how our hands
are too sore for that stuff, and scramble for raffle and dinner
tickets. We live in mountains of bubble wrap and misplace our cash
boxes. We watch a little girls eyes light up as she slides $7 onto a
table and leaves, a Clydesdale foal held in a death grip. And
sometimes, we even find something we've been searching for. I've always
been a sucker for the Fighting Stallion mold. Its hideous conformation
wise, and doesn’t really show well unless its in a collectors class.
I’ve always liked it, and my Breyer buddies love to pick on me for
that. About 10 years ago I had a Mint Copenhagen Fighter. And I ended
up selling it off when I thought I was getting out of the hobby. I got
an amazing deal on it, and while it wasn’t the one I wanted, it was a
close second to my Holy Grail...A Mint Gold Charm Fighting Stallion.
Now, I’ve seen less Gold Charms than Copenhagens...they were only made
for a couple of years, from 63-65. And I had gotten in touch with a
woman who had one. And who was selling it. So I’m sitting at my table
with a friend, and we're unbagging my show string, and the whole time
there is this woman wandering around, and you can always tell who isn’t
familiar with the hobby. This woman wasn’t. And she had a bunch of kids
with her. 3 or 4. of them. Now, there are a set of unspoken rules at
events, like you don’t touch ANYTHING that isn’t yours. That’s common
sense. If I want to pick something up to look at it, I'll ask whoever
owns the horse. Duh. These kids were everywhere. Running, yelling, and
the woman was finally asked to leave, with her kids. YAHOO okay good.
So I set out to find the woman with my Gold Charm. And then I hear it.
Clack...clack...clack clack clackclackclackclack crash bang bounce
bounce crash boom thud CRASHCRAHSCRASHCRASHHHHHH. This my friends is
the sound that EVERY model horse owner dreads. Breyer Dominos. A lot of
the older models ( and a few of the newer ones ) aren’t the most
stable, and fall over easily (cough5-gaiterscough) Which means scrapes,
breaks and value down the toilet. Supposedly one of the boys who was
with the woman grabbed a 5-Gaited off the table, held it by the tail as
it if it were a hand held weapon, and while making 'bang bang' noises,
he started smacking the horses on that table. The woman who was at
another table, saw what he was doing, and before she could get back to
her table, the other 5 gaiters went down, knocking half of the horses
off the table. The boy, seeing what he had done, dropped the 5 gaited
he had been holding and hauled ass out of the showroom. Karma hates me.
All I’m gonna say is that I went home with a Gold Charm that was
missing half an ear for a considerably reduced price.
So THATS Where My Soda
Went!
I wear flip flops everywhere I can. I
hate shoes. My toes like waving at people. This is also true about when
I go to the movies. Flip flops are a must. I get my ticket, stop by the
snack bar to get nachos and a blue raspberry Icee, and then find my way
to the right theatre to find myself an isle seat away from children. So
I walk down the carpet, turn left, plant my foot on the cement in front
of a row of seats, take another step...and then another...this time I
notice that my right foot has come up...without my shoe. Sometimes that
happens, I am known to throw a shoe. So I step back, put my flip flop
back on, and try to take another step. Foot flies out of shoe again,
and this time in order to keep my nachos and Icee from flying all over
the elderly couple sitting in front of me, I put my bare foot down. Oh.
My Dear. Gawd. There must have been half an inch of coagulated goo in
front of those seats. And my foot was now in it. And it would not come
out. So as I’m freaking out, trying to keep the theatre from eating my
foot, my friend is laughing her ass off at my plight. So I tell her to
go make herself useful, go get me some wet paper towels, and go tell
one of the slacker kids that work there to come clean this mess up. So
she finally stops laughing and leaves to get paper towels.
Meanwhile...back at the ranch...I’m STILL trying to get my foot unstuck
from the sludge. My flip-flop seems to have sank further into the mix.
So I’m trying to yank my foot out of the stuff, and pull my shoe out,
and I’m flailing...and about 4 rows back some smart ass yells
out..."Right foot red!" So me being the polite lady that I am, I
rattled off a few very unladylike things to say, and kept tugging at my
shoe. Finally the buddy comes back, and with her help I dislodge my
flip flop from the mess, and send her off to wash it, as I am still
stuck. Now the junk has started eating away at my pant leg, which was
just gross. So after what seemed like 10 minutes and half of the
previews I get my foot unstuck, hobble down the steps just as the buddy
gets back to our seats. I wash my foot, go complain to the manager who
basically blows me off, and get back to where the buddy is, which is
about 4 rows away from where we were. And the floor is still sticky.
Not as bad as before, but there’s soda and popcorn and junk all over
the floor. If I’m going to pay 10 bucks for a movie ticket, and another
5 on junk food, can I please get some bottom of the ladder employee to
do their job and make the sticky stuff go away? Right foot red my Aunt
Fanni
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STORY BY
JNFERRIGNO
Some might remember
when Virtual Horse Ranch
only offered Sponsor upgrades. After that came the $9 Goodie Dyes, the
$16 Foundation Pairs, and the $1 million VHR cash for $10 – the latter
two not as popular as custom colors. Well Fillies and Colts, welcome to
the new VHR 2009 craze of the year! Personal Breeds!
Darkhound
Other players like
DragonWings, I believe developed an unhealthy
addiction for the custom breeds. After she received her OP gift breeds,
she went on to purchase three more breeds, Destriers, Irish Tinker
Horses, and Death Chargers. “I definitely feel its worth the cost. On
VHR its difficult at times to find something that you can really call
your own, and really specialize in. I'm glad that Nef's given us a
chance to have a breed to ourselves.” Many players, like myself, also
feel this way. Seeing as VHR is the oldest running Orbis game, many
players have come to work on the same breeds. Before personal breeds,
all we could call our own were colors. And even then, there were a
number of clones as well that would take away from that uniqueness.
Some players, like
Freedom_Seeker, bought a custom breed as a tribute
to something dear to her. Thanks to her, we have the Oklahoma Stock
Horse in the game now, which according to Free, “[are] stock horses
that are just mixes.” Tala of Black Magick also created a breed
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was inspired by her Arabian mare Calypso, “ever since
I found out my
own mare had a predisposition to fox trot, and a good strong walk, I
was determined to see if there were others like her.” And thus the
Gaited Arabian was brought into VHR. The Linyaari, was a birthday
present to LifeLifeLow, and is based off of the Acorna series. “They
are a sentential being that has a mostly human body, small unicorn
horn, they have furry legs and hooves and their hands have 2 digits
with one less knuckle than we have. Their hair is also long and thick,
being connected about halfway down their backs, similar to a horse's
mane.”
Those players who
desired more fanciful breeds to be added to VHR,
had that ability as well. The long time player and OP, Hawk, created
the Pixie Pony. These fairy winged ponies are no more then 3 hands high
and range in all kinds of colors: Tie-Dye Tobiano, Tangerine Turquoise
Twist, Banana Berry Brindle and Rainbow Roan. For a more realistic
twist, VP player Evlon created the Ethiopian Wolf, “due to the fact
that it is a little known wolf in the wild, and is becoming
increasingly endangered.”
What ever your flavor, be it realistic, honoring, or fanciful, I'm sure
you won't be disappointed. I'm sure you can agree, that it's nice to be
able to call something your own.
Park Arabian
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STORY
BY KHOLRAN
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Spaying and
neutering is expensive.
False. This is probably
one of the most common
myths about spay/neuter. There are many factors that determine the cost
of surgery, including the pets gender and
age, and which vet you choose. There are many
low-income programs throughout the US that provide financial assistance
to pet owners that cannot afford the cost of surgery. Compared to the
expenses of properly raising a litter of puppies or kittens, spaying
and neutering costs very little in the long run.
Spaying and
neutering will make my pet fat and lazy.
False. While there are
some conditions that can cause obesity
(hyperthyroidism, for example), the most common cause of overweight
pets is too much food and not enough exercise. If given proper exercise
and a controlled diet, altered pets are just as active and energetic as
unaltered animals.
Spaying and
neutering can help prevent disease.
True!
Neutered males will never
suffer from testicular cancer.
Spayed females will be spared the pain of ovarian cancer, and have a
much lower risk for mammary tumors if spayed before their first heat
cycle. If left in tact, the risk of mammary cancer jumps to 8% after
the first heat cycle and rises to a staggering 50% at five years.
Spayed females will also never suffer from pyometritis, a painful and
often fatal infection of the uterus.
Spaying and
neutering will change my pet’s behavior.
True. But that’s a good
thing! Neutering a male animal rids him of
testosterone, the leading cause of such unwanted behaviors as
territorial marking, roaming, fighting with other animals, and
dominance aggression. Nearly all of the fatal dog attacks in the US
have been caused by in-tact animals. Females in heat can be quite
short-tempered, along with being excessively vocal. Your normally
serene lap cat might keep you up all night crying to get outside, and
any attempts to stop her will be met with hostility. A male cat or dog
can smell a female in heat miles away. Altered animals coexist more
peacefully in the home as well.
Spaying and neutering only applies to mixed
breed animals. I don’t need to alter my purebred.
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False. Between 40 and
50% of animals in shelters and rescues across
the US are purebred animals. Having a pedigree does not spare an animal
the health risks of remaining in-tact, nor does it change the
behavioral benefits of being altered.
But I want to
replace my wonderful pet. Besides, I’ll find homes for the rest of the
litter.
There is no guarantee
that an animal will produce a carbon copy of
itself in a litter of offspring. In fact, you may end up with a litter
that takes on all the negative qualities of both parents. Out of a
hundred puppies or kittens, you may never find one that is exactly like
your pet. On top of that, every animal born takes a home away from a
dog or cat already in need of a home. Pure or mixed breed, there are
too many homeless animals and not enough good homes for them all.
Trust me, you don't
want all of these in your house!
Spaying and
neutering reduces pet overpopulation.
True. Overpopulation is
a problem that is created and worsened one
litter at a time. The abundance of pets then creates a burden on the
community, as it costs a great deal of money to feed, care for, and in
most cases ultimately euthanize homeless companion animals. Having your
pet spayed or neutered, and thus ensuring that he or she will never be
responsible for an accidental pregnancy, is the smallest step you as an
owner can take to ease the problem of pet overpopulation. |
STORY
BY JNFERRIGNO
 The last week of 2008 was
the first time we
celebrated the VHR Block Party. One of the many events hosted was a
Coloring Contest, where the contestant was required to color a provided
line art in a celebratory fashion. This years winner was Hawk, who is
not well known for her digital art, but outstanding none the less.
Her story of
inspiration, is much like everyone else, “a kid that liked
horses and started to doodle them.” Aside from digital art work, Hawk
also has a passion for colored pencil work as well as model horses.
What I consider an art work, she considers a hobby, “ya know, I never
considered my etching as art work, I do prefer my etching over
anything.” For those who do not know, etching in the model horse world
is where you take a razor blade, and scrape away at the color of a
breyer horse. You can give it texture, patterns, even completely change
the color with a good roaning technique.
Even though she
continues to suffer from carpel tunnel syndrome, and
frostbite damage after years of abusive work, she still makes the
effort to color on the computer, as well as etch artwork in real life.
If you you attend Breyerfest this year, you might be lucky enough to
see some of her fabulous etchings! |
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When Hobbits Attack!
Sometimes I feel like a National
Geographic narrator who lives
with 4 lions. "The Domestic House Panther enjoys his daytime nap in the
afternoon sun. He's quite full from his Kirkland Cat food diet and
several nibbles of organic oatmeal cookie." That’s the Frodo."And here
we see the Mini Grey Tiger once again showing us that he is not afraid
of the water hole...see how he dives in with such enthusiasm..." That’s
Sam...falling in the toilet. "Ah the Spotted female is very... um...
well... she's staring at me..." That’s Merry...who’s a normal cat. And
then there's Pippin. Pip is my clingy child kitty who always wants to
watch what I’m doing, and to help. If I’m making tuna, he's sitting on
a chair at the table, thinking I'll share. If I’m putting dishes in the
dishwasher, he’s IN the dishwasher. If I’m at the computer, he’s in my
lap, sitting on my shoulder, balancing on the desk, attacking the mouse
on the screen, meowing at me because I’m not petting him, or farting.
Lately as some of you frequent chatters know, Pip has taken to pouncing
on me while I’m lying on the floor. The first time it happened I had a
string on the back pocket of my jeans. So of course, he hides behind
the sofa, springs across the room, and lands on my butt. Which means
his kitty claws land in my butt too. Not the best feeling. Its sad that
I have to plot against my cat. I have claw marks on my rear. I have
decided to send him to Badger. MWAHAHA
The Cat Who Pooped
Gotham City
So there are two litter boxes in the
house, and they get cleaned
daily. 3 cats use one, and Sam uses the other one. I never really
noticed it until recently. But the cats will literally wait in like at
one litter box...and not use Sam’s. I just thought they were quirky. Or
that Sam just didn’t want anyone else in there. No. Its because Sam has
Mt Everest sized poop. And the other cats don’t want to be near it. And
its like ex boyfriend poop...you know...the kind of poop where your ex
would be in the bathroom for an hour and a half...THEN once has finally
out, you forget he was in there, and walk into the bathroom...and die?
Yeah that kind of poop. So I have 2 kinds of Febreeze spray in the
house. One for normal stuff, and one to cover up Pips stinky butt. But
I suppose if threes ever a war I can hold up just fine with the threat
of Sam poop.
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Climb Aboard The Bandwagon!
Remember when VHR players had their own
brains and their own mind
and could think for themselves and run off their original ideas? Yes,
me too. And most of them still do. Goddess bless the lone player trying
to bust the DF bc. You enjoy your personal rolling hell. What I never
cared for was starting a breed, talking to someone about it, and then
finding out 10 other people have bought 14 pairs of foundies...and them
message me expecting me to sell them my stock. Um no? Go buy your own?
Why did you buy yours anyway? "Um because I know I can buy your stock
so I can breed up more." Oh really now? Yeah, you keep dreaming buster.
( No, not my Bra Buddy Buster. I’m just using buster as a general
people term. ) Get off my bandwagon, and get on your own. Scene end.
Hey Sanka...Ya Dead?
Anyone know what movie that’s from? Hehe
I do. There comes a
point in every chatter's life where they get sick and tired of the SAME
person complaining about how their body is falling apart in chat. We
listen to complaints about rancid farts, goiters, blood pressure,
cramps, bloating, bad eyesight, arthritis, whooping cough, the Bubonic
Plague, Ebola, Separation anxiety, ear aches, and so much more...and it
seems to come from the same people...every time they’re in chat. I'm
only going to say this once. From me, and every other chatter who has
to listen to the same stuff every day, and the invention of new
ailments or diseases every next day, here's a piece of advice from me
to you. If you have that much wrong with you, you have better things to
do than complain about them in chat. Shut up. Please. Just shut up. And
Bird...if you find my leperostic foot, return it to me, I think I took
your foot by mistake.
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